Ok so I panicked that this process will be really dragged out if I delay the second appointment, so I called the clinic and told them I will keep the appointment and my dad can pick my son up from nursery. I’m sure he will be fine. I hope. I’m a terrible mother, I know.
I am panicking because I still can’t believe that they will let me do this on my own, that they won’t take one look at me and tell me not to be so silly. Until I have the doctors word that they’ll do this for me I will not believe that this journey has really started, and the longer that is delayed the longer I feel like I’m in limbo. That, however hasn’t stopped me getting excited, dreaming of babies, and thinking about names. Maybe this will happen and a little hope never killed anyone.