It seems mad to say that I am now 33 weeks, but I really am, it’s really happening!
I’ve spent this entire pregnancy with a little voice in the back of my head telling me I won’t reach the end, that I won’t get to hold my little man, but with every week that goes by, and his every movement that gets stronger, I am listening to those voices less and less. I am growing with confidence that this is actually going to happen. Once I reached 30 weeks I let myself believe I was going to have a baby. Let myself imagine myself with a little one, in my arms, in a cot, going for walks, having baths and being kissed goodnight. I opened my mind to the fact that in 10 weeks that could be me. Now, three weeks on, I fully believe it WILL be me.
That’s not to say I don’t panic when I get a twinge in my tummy or I don’t feel him move for 5 minutes. I always will. But this pregnancy is going to plan. Every consultant and midwife visit is positive. His growth and fluid and heart all seems normal. There is no reason that I won’t get to take this baby home.
I have my 34 week growth scan in a week, his dad can’t come so my parents will get to see the little man on screen – the first time they’ll have seen him moving about, and I cannot wait to see their faces when they see it. Ultrasound has come a long way from when they were having me – you can actually tell what things are nowadays! I think it will be a great bonding experience for his grandparents! It’s crazy to think that in 7 weeks I can no longer call them mum and dad (in front of Jackson anyway)! They will change the names I have known them by for the last 22 years!
Occasionally it hits me that I have only got 7 weeks to go and then I start to panic about everything that still needs to be done. I haven’t even packed my hospital bag yet, there’s a crib to be built and bedding to buy. I have however, now bought some clothes. Only basic bodysuits and sleepsuits, but enough to get by with even if I don’t get anything else.
As scary as only having 7 weeks left is, I often find myself wanting time to get a wriggle on and hurry up so he can get here, but whenever I catch myself thinking this I panic that I am totally not ready and that even if he holds on the full 7 weeks I still won’t be ready! But in the next 7 weeks I will meet him! I like knowing this. Because they arent going to let me go over 40/40 I have a deadline, I know I won’t be waiting until 42/40.
Overall 33 weeks isn’t too bad at the moment. Moving around is getting harder now, and as I still have a bit of growing to do it will only get worse! Lying on the sofa is lovely, but getting up makes me look like a beetle on its back and even getting out of bed definitely takes more effort than it used to! I’m finding loo trips more regular and more urgent, though I am still managing to go through the night with no extra trips. However, during the day when I need to go, I need to get up and go THEN, but wiggling like a beetle on its back doesn’t help with needing the loo! I have got a few stretchmarks on my tummy, all heading downwards directly below my belly button, but they all appeared within the last week so I still have 7 more weeks to get plenty more. I am moisturising my bump daily so hopefully that can keep the worst at bay! All in all I can’t really complain. Pregnancy is treating me quite nicely at the moment!