No, I’m not one of those mums.
At least not on Facebook.

(My Facebook is reserved only for my real life friends. People I have actually met, and I delete people I no longer talk to. It may seem harsh, but I’m not interested in what someone I went to school with when I was 4 is doing now. By sticking to this I always care about what’s in my newsfeed.)

I use my Twitter account to share Jackson updates, after all, it’s what I made it for, while my Facebook account is saved for special updates and momentous occasions.
I’d never have believed this a few years ago.
I didn’t ‘get’ Twitter. I didn’t have anything to share. My updates would have been “Got a cup of tea” and I would have had no followers, because, in all honesty, who wants to read that?
Facebook, however, got everything. The people who were friends with me to keep up to date on my life were subjected to my mundane, pointless, cryptic statuses. I literally cringe now when I read my daily ‘Timehops’ why on earth did I write that? Why did I update my status 7x a day? Why did I think people cared?!

Back before I was a mum I hated people who shared everything about their child on Facebook. It bugged me. I’m not sure why, but every other update on my Facebook was baby related and I just didn’t care.
Now I guess the rest of my friends feel the same.
The few updates I have put on my Facebook have been ‘liked’ and commented on by the few of my friends who have kids and my family, rarely my childless friends.
I’m not upset.
I totally get it.
To this end I don’t overshare. I get the sharing of those ‘have to share’ photos out of my system on whatsapp to family or on Twitter, but only very occasionally to Facebook where the majority of my friends just don’t care!

I love Twitter, but I’m not the most social person.
I still lack confidence and find myself reading and rereading and redrafting tweets multiple times before I reply to people to make sure it reads right, that I won’t offend them, that it’s worth sending.
That’s me all over. In real life and online.
I go over any conversation with people I don’t really know in my head multiple times before I speak, sometimes missing my chance to speak because I wasn’t sure on what I was saying.
With friends I can be silly, be myself and fire off a reply instantly, knowing that they will take it right, but if I don’t know someone I am terrified of upsetting or offending them, especially as one of the main topics I talk about online is Babyloss.
I’ve never been a particularly sensitive or sympathetic person. What I mean by that is that I don’t know how to express it. Whatever I say I feel like it sounds like I’m being insensitive. I feel everything, I’m sad when people tell me about their losses, but I don’t know how to express it.
I’m working on this, trying to put the ‘social’ back in my social media (however hard this is with a baby around making time scarce) I’m trying to get over my lapses in self confidence with strangers by throwing myself into the conversation. Something I’m also working on in real life, going to baby groups and meeting people. It’s terrifying but also a bit exciting.

Whether online or in real life a baby is a great ice breaker. He is a way to meet people. Photos online draw comments and taking him out in his pushchair I get stopped in the street by strangers who comment on him. Maybe he will be the key to me growing my self confidence.