Everyone says that you lose friends when you have a baby, but I never believed them. My group of friends was tight-knit. I’d known them mostly since I was 11 so they had stood the test of time.
When I was pregnant with Effy-Mae they were excited – almost as excited as me, and when I lost her they were all there for me, coming back from far afield to see me before I went in to deliver her. I texted them throughout my labour, they kept me strong after, assuring me they were always there. I threw myself into the friendships then, talking more and we became even closer.
When I announced I was pregnant again, they were the first to know, at the same time as my parents. Throughout the pregnancy they got more and more excited, sending me pictures of clothes they had bought him, liking all the photos I put on Facebook, following my Twitter and blog for updates, assuring me that they’d see him as soon as he was born. They seemed as excited as me. When I broke up with Jacksons dad they supported me through it and filled that emotional void in my life.
After he was born some stuck to their words and see him as often as possible. Others have absolutely broken my heart. Those I considered my best friends have only just seen come to him at 5months old – others still haven’t seen him. I don’t know what changed, what made them suddenly not want to know, but even when I send them pictures of him (very occasionally as there seems little point) they rarely even comment so much as an aww they just change the subject.
I’ve tried since he was born to make new friends with mums of babies the same age, for his sake as much as mine, but that doesn’t seem to be going so well either.
I’m lonely.
My New Years resolution is to find new friends and I’m joining lots of groups to try to make this become a reality because I can’t go on having the only conversations with adults being with my parents or via whatsapp!