2 years ago I first found out I was pregnant with Effy-Mae, and since that moment I have wanted nothing else but to be a mother. I made a conscious decision to give up my job and dedicate my life to my children, and this is why it confuses me when people sound like they’re giving me a way out when they say we should go out and have someone look after Jackson.
I get that some parents like that, time away from the children, time away for themselves, but that’s not me! I wish I could spend 100% of my time with him! I hate leaving him when I shower (though I know I need to shower!) so a day out shopping or to the cinema or a night out without him sounds awful. I’m sure this may change as he grows up, but at the moment I want to make the most of every moment.
In a month I am leaving him for an evening with his grandparents, and I’m absolutely dreading it! I know he will be fine, he loves them and I’m only a 20minute drive away, but that doesn’t stop the illogical part of my brain panicking!

When I describe myself now, I don’t describe myself, I say I’m a mother and describe my children, and I love that! I myself am nothing interesting, but my children are everything! I am a mother before anything else. I have made a decision to pause my life to start his and wouldn’t have it any other way.