An Open Letter

An open letter to the guy who just stopped seeing me by ignoring me, (infact to all of them who have)

This may seem the easiest way out to you, a simple fade away, which is fine when you’ve been talking off a dating site, maybe after one or two dates if things aren’t what you want, but once things get more than that it’s cowardly, and just plain rude.

To you, who knows what you’re thinking, it may seem easier than sending a message explaining how the way I chew my food is annoying, or my saggy belly puts you off me physically, but trust me, I’d rather hear either of those things than nothing. I could laugh and call you shallow and move on, but with no reason forthcoming I am forced to go over it in my own head, and we are our own harshest critics, this means every slight issue I can see with myself is magnified, brought under scrutiny and my confidence lays on the floor in tatters. Again.

Six weeks may not seem a long time to know someone, and it’s not, but to me it’s too long to just walk away from something with no explanation.

It took a lot for me to decide to date again after kids, after a failed engagement, after my confidence in myself was on the floor, but I did, I decided I deserved to find someone and be happy, and twice I’ve been rewarded with the same silent treatment after a couple of months. So it must be me. That’s what my heart says. My head tries to say no but I know which will win, my heart always does!

So I give up on dating and men and searching for someone to share my life with for now, maybe I’ll try again in a few years but for now I’m not emotionally strong enough to deal with this kind of rejection again and be able to put on a happy face for my toddler in the morning. I lay in bed at night ripping away at everything about myself, looking for reasons guys leave, and I know they’re not worth it but I’ll keep doing it because something in here drives them away and until I know what it is my heart feels like it won’t be happy. 

So give a girl a reason, please. Even if it’s stupid, even if you can’t stand the way she flicks her hair, that reason will stop her ripping herself apart, because trust me, girls can find flaws in themselves where no one else can and nothing shakes a girls confidence more than hating things about herself.

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