Saturday 2nd: Negative

Monday 4th: Negative

Tuesday 5th: Surely it would be faintly positive by now? Faulty tests? Not pregnant?

Wednesday 6th: Negative

Thursday 7th: Official test day.
I know deep down already.
Big Fat Negative.
Aunt Flo arrived a few hours later.
Nothing like rubbing salt in the wound.

A few grand gone and no exact 4 year age gap for my kids, but it was a long shot. A first attempt. All is not lost, I now get a month off, I can enjoy Christmas and I know what U am doing when I try again in January.

I thought I would be ok, but the wait, the not knowing is driving me mad.
The Schrodingers cat essence of it all.
I simultaneously am and am not pregnant.
I wanted to take an early detection test, but was warned of false positives.
I took a cheap test today expecting to see a positive line caused by the trigger injection, which I could then watch either fade away (negative) or become stronger (positive)
Nothing.
Negative.
Ok so the trigger has gone.
Will a line fade in?
I shall test daily.
I will squint for that second line.

I was told to arrive half an hour early for my 1pm appointment with a full bladder.
They were running about half an hour late.
I nearly exploded!
We were taken down with another couple and shown into a little cubicle.
I pointed out I really needed a wee and she told me that if I was uncomfortable to let a little out.
How do you calculate a little?
How do you stop peeing when you are THAT desperate?!
I counted to 10 and was slightly more comfortable!
She told me to strip from the waist and to put on a fetching blue gown with no bottom!
I was led down to the theatre and sat in one of the very undignified chair.
The consultant checked I was me and that the sample had my name on it!
He insterted the cathether through my cervix and I could watch it all on the screen as the nurse was doing an external scan at the same time.
I saw the sperm going in as a white cloud and he assured me they were all heading the right way.
It was all over and I was led back to my cubicle to get dressed.
I was given progesterone pessaries to take 2x a day until I take a test in two weeks and if it is positive then I continue to take them ’til 12 weeks.

Test on 7th December.

Everything crossed!

18mm!
Beasty!

Mum came behind the secret curtain today and saw the scan.
The follicle was looking mighty big!
Just the one, so no twins for me (only a little disssapointed as obviously less follicles, less chances, but it only takes one!)

Trigger injection at 10pm tonight.
I’ve been doing 37.5iu of Gonal-F so 250iu of Ovitrelle was a LOT!
That button was right out and took FOREVER to push in!

All done now so roll on wednesday and eggs – please stay put ’til there are some swimmers in there for you to meet!

I needen’t have panicked.
My follicles aren’t romping away.
I still only have the one standing out.
It’s grown a whole 4mm since the last scan.
I have another scan on Monday.
If it’s grown another 4mm it will be 18mm and we trigger monday night for insemination Wednesday.
As luck would have it I am off work next week, hows that for timing?!

I didn’t think I was a panicky person, but I suppose when you have so much invested in this both emotionally and financially you will tend to.

What if, at the scan tomorrow the follicle is NEARLY ready?
The clinic is closed over the weekend.
What if I miss it?

I only have – possibly – one more dose of Gonal-F.
What if I’m not ready to trigger and I have to buy a whole new pen for 2 days?
I decided against the package so thats an extra £120!
FOR LIKE 2 DAYS!!

And calm.

Today I had my first progress scan.
Day 6 of injections.
I was introduced to the internal scanning probe.
I’ve met it before in my early scan with my son, but I was still unprepared for how undiginfied it was!
I was asked to go behind the curtain and remove my bottom half and then sit in the seat and cover myself with a bit of paper. (What’s the point, you’re going to be seeing everything in a minute!)
She didn’t even seem to notice she had a vagina staring her in the face (I guess she sees multiple every day!) and after checking I wasn’t allergic to latex she got started.
The first ovary had multiple follicles but all small.
The second ovary had one follicle that was beginning to take off, but was still small.
Rescan on Friday.

I did my first injection today.
I was worried.
The pen is like an epi pen, so it is easy to use but lots to twist and remember.
I managed though, after putting the needle on and covering myself in a shower of the foul smelling stuff!
I’m only on 37.5iu so I barely have to turn the dial.
The needle was so small I couldn’t even feel it, and the button hardly felt like it pushed at all as I put so little in.
Anyway.
Day one DONE!

I missed a call from the clinic today and as I have no answerphone on my phone (I hate that people leave me a message and assume I definitely got it – I got stung with a cancelled dentist appointment once, they left a message to tell me it was cancelled but my phone didn’t tell me so I turned up anyway! So I just don’t have one!) they emailed me with my instructions.
As I started in the evening I count 6th as day one so injections start on 9th and the first progress scan is on 14th!

Aunt Flo arrived yesterday evening, now from my frantic googling that means they count it as starting today I believe?
I rang the clinic but the receptionist was unsure, nurses are all in theatre today so they’ll call me tomorrow.