Asking the receptionist about cost had got me thinking about the Access Fertility leaflet I had been given but hadn’t really looked at, so I gave it another look and it started to seem more like a good idea. I had been pretty sure about IUI working first time, which it didn’t, then second time, again nothing, so what if IVF doesn’t?
Looking at the packages, the multicycle seemed like the best option, giving me the chance of 2 fresh IVF cycles and unlimited frozen. Something that if I was paying for individually I probably wouldn’t do a second fresh.

So the clinic didn’t get back to me, and I had to chase them up, but I almost wished I hadn’t because I nearly passed out at the cost!

She had split it into component parts : IVF, ICSI, Blastocyte culture and freezing. The last 3 are refundable if not needed/done. So the total to stump up on 7th was 5,800, about 1k more than I had expected (because I hadn’t even considered the need for ICSI)! Hopefully I will get the ICSI cost back as I shouldn’t need is as that is to do with sperm quality. But if I didn’t have bank of mum and dad with the best interest rates in town backing me I would have had a full on panic attack there and then about having to find another 1k in 6 days!

I asked if it was too late to use Access Fertility and she said no, but to get onto it ASAP!
Which I did!

I was concerned about the fact they had separate basic vs ICSI packages and didn’t know how that would work with probably not needing it, but the lady on the phone explained that I was better off getting the basic package, paying for ICSI seperately and then hopefully getting the refund. It actually works out no cheaper if I do need it by doing the ICSI package anyway. (well maybe like £200) So I (or rather mum and dad) stumped up £6,800 for a multicycle package. That takes the pressure off a bit if this cycle doesn’t work. If it does then we are 2k down. If it works after one frozen cycle then we are £500 down, any tries after that and we are in profit. But as mum said, we would kick ourselves less for that when theres a baby, than stumping up another 4k when there isn’t!

So that’s it! All paid up and ready to start!
Once I come to the end of my package and if it hasn’t worked then I will be out of sperm and tries and will have to stop. It seems like a good end point rather than ‘just one more try’ which I can ill afford. I’ll be paying this off for years to come as it is!!

Roll on 7th for my baseline scan (and stumping up a further 1k for the ICSI!)


Nurse Appointment

I wasn’t exactly sure what this appointment was for, as the consultant had explained everything pretty well in the initial appointment, but I had my virology bloods done (again), she told me how to mix the cetrotide (far scarier than the pens I’ve used up ’til now) and seemed surprised that I didn’t have more questions and was so relaxed!

I will be back for my baseline scan on 7th June after finishing my Norethisterone on 2nd (apparently I will probably still be bleeding, which is freaking me out!)

At the end of the appointment I asked when I had to pay up for IVF and how much I could expect it to be, we had been given a rough figure in the consultation but now needed to know how much to get ready. She said she would have to check and let me know how much, but that it needs to be paid in full on 7th with the baseline scan which is considered the first treatment of the cycle.

Expecting a Delivery

My drugs have arrived! All £800 worth!

Two massive boxes, one refrigerated, delivery man must have wondered what he was delivering!

They are now safely tucked in my fridge, among the yoghurts and fruit, and in my cupboard, ready for me to use in the next few weeks!

I start Norethisterone tomorrow until 2nd June, then baseline scan is on 7th!


So the clinic got back to me and told me to not take the Microgynon, that the prescription is a general one that is raised for everyone and slipped through… if I hadn’t noticed I could have formed a clot and been in serious trouble, but ok… mistakes happen…. but that the consultant was happy for me to take the Norethisterone (slightly nervous about that, but I’ll trust them!) and that this would be towards the end of the cycle before.. I told her today was day one and she told me they had no egg collection spots left in May so to leave it for this cycle and they would pencil me in for egg collection on 21st June and that I would start Norethisterone on the 23rd day of my next cycle.


Who knew you needed contraception when trying for a baby! How very ironic!

The nurses still hadn’t contacted me and as my next period was due soon I decided to chase it up. Pretty sure I had been forgotten, but once they had checked my notes I was told to collect my tablets from reception, no appointment needed, so I had them ready for my next cycle. As my next cycle was due to start any day I rushed down there the next day to collect them. I was told to call on day one…

I got home and looked at what I had bought, and, as I was bored, read the leaflets. Mainly to find out what I had been given, Microgynon and Northisterone. Both leaflets flagged concerns for me. The Microgynon said ‘do not take if you have antiphospholipi syndrome’ which I do! and the Northisterone said do not take if you have any clotting disorders, which antiphospholipid syndrome is! So I called the clinic and was told they would talk to the doctor and let me know! It may be necessary to go ahead without these tablets and go into the cycle naturally.

So now I’m awaiting a phonecall to let me know what pills to take (which ones won’t kill me anyway!)

IVF Consultation

I didn’t know what to expect from this appointment.
I was told when I booked it that it was just to discuss why IUI failed.
We don’t know, isn’t that the point?
Would they tell me I had to try IUI again?
Maybe I’m not a candiate for IVF.
Maybe there’s a massive wait?
However the consultant was lovely and gave me options.
Would I like to try IUI again?
When I said no she smiled and told me it was good to give it a go but it only had a 5-10% chance of success ‘that just nature’ she said. The probability of success decreased dramatically since I started treatment then! I was promised 20% chance!
When I said I wanted to try IVF she gave me a presentation about what it involved and put together a plan.
I expected nothing from this appointment and I now have a plan for my IVF treatment!
So the plan is some kind of tablets for 2 months, I missed what these were for, followed by a short course treatment, as I have polycystic ovaries, (not the syndrome apparently just lots of follicles and she doesn’t want to cause Ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome by going for the hard drugs) of 100iu of Gonal-F to mature the follicles and then trigger the same as IUI with Ovitrelle. In for egg collection and go from there. As soon as I start the Gonal-F I will also have to take fragmin injections to stop my blood clotting which is apparently a side effect of Gonal-F made worse by my antiphospholipid syndrome. Great.
Total cost she reckons somewhere £6-7k. Ouch. But having spent £4652.05 so far on the ‘cheap’ option of IUI it’s got to be worth a shot.

I am now just waiting on the nurses to call me to arrange my tablets (and so I can find out what they are!) and I’m guesstimating if I get these tablets soon that I start Gonal-F in June/July-ish time! March/April baby?

Done With IUI

I rang the clinic yesterday to report no pregnancy and was told they would call me back.
Today the nurse called.
I told her I was done with IUI.
I could tell it threw her.
She’s new and probably had her script prepared about how I needed a HyCoSy before continuing.
But I don’t want to continue.
IUI seems random.
Too many chances for it to not happen.
The egg might not mature, might not release, might release too early, too late, then just might not meet the sperm swimming to meet it.
I was told when I started treatment it had a 20% chance, that that was just ‘nature’
Well, when I am spending this much money on it I don’t like nature getting involved.
I gave it a go.
If it had worked it would have been great.
It hasn’t worked for me, that’s not to say it won’t for you.
But I have decided to cut my losses at 2 goes and to splash out my third try on IVF.

I have a consultant appointment on 6th March to discuss next steps.


Thursday 25th: Negative I definitely expected a false positive this early!

Friday 26th: I’m so angry today! Down to drugs? Hormones? Stress? Dare I even dream, pregnancy?

Saturday 27th: Negative – though that means NOTHING as it is still far too early for cheap tests to be able to pick up. Why am I testing?!

Monday 29th: Negative

Tuesday 30th: Had a headache and felt awful at work today, light headed and queasy. Pregnancy? Dare I hope?

Wednesday 31st: Negative. Even took a proper (not cheap poundland test) test because I was so SURE… but no.

Friday 2nd: Negative and Aunt Flo. No October baby.


I hate IUI.


Same room as last time.
Same people as last time.
Same procedure as last time.
Hopefully a different result to last time.
Now for the dreaded two week wait.
How long ’til I go insane this time?
I get to test on 3rd February.


Scan showed that the larger follicle is the perfect 18mm but the smaller one has shrunk back a bit, so no twins, but it only takes one!

Triggering tonight ready for insemination at 12.30 on friday!

  • An 'Angel Baby' is a baby lost during pregnancy or early childhood, who sleeps in the clouds instead of our arms.

    A 'Rainbow Baby' is a baby born following the loss of an 'Angel Baby', a beacon of hope after a storm, while not denying the storm happened.

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