Tomorrow is my first Mother’s Day as a member of the mummy’s club. The fact I won’t be spending the day with my daughter doesn’t make it any less of an important day for me.

My fiancé bought me a bunch of flowers for the day – I can’t help thinking that had my daughter been here that would have been a box of chocolates or a necklace that he would have presented to me on Sunday morning with my 6 month old smiling daughter there, on my bed opening the present with me, along with breakfast in bed.
Instead I am going to take the roses out of the bunch of flowers I was given and take them down to the graveyard for her, something I always do when there are pink roses in a bunch of flowers I am given.

Mother’s Day isn’t going to be a sad day for me though, it will be hard going to the graveyard, but I will spend the rest of the day with my own mum, Effy-Mae’s grandmother, spoiling her and making her feel as special as I should be feeling – as I am feeling, with my son in my belly kicking away I feel like every day he kicks is Mother’s Day.

We didn’t celebrate Mother’s Day last year when I was pregnant with Effy-Mae, we figured we would have plenty of time for that in the years to come, and to keep it fair we won’t celebrate it for Jackson until next year, when he is in my arms and can celebrate it with me, but I know in my heart I’m already a mum to two children.

Just because my daughter isn’t here to celebrate the day with me doesn’t make me any less of a mother, and that makes tomorrow just as much about me as it is about those lucky mums who get to kiss their children goodnight.