Life Decisions 

Every so often it is necessary to stop and consider your life, and today is one of those days for me.

Ever since I was little I imagined being a stay at home mum like my mum was, giving my children all the love and time in the world.

When I found my ex we shared that vision and he could afford to support it and with the belief that I could give my children the childhood I wanted to give them we tried for a baby. Sadly that relationship came to an end almost a year ago when I was 7 months pregnant with Jackson leaving me heavily pregnant and unemployed!

I have enjoyed the last 9 months, watching Jackson growing up literally before my eyes, but with all my mummy friends now considering returning to work after maternity leave I am now questioning what I want to do.

Honestly though, I hadn’t really thought about it up until now. Not practically.

I’d been assuming I’d stay at home until Jackson went to school and then I’d find myself a job or study, but I’d never looked into what I could do or what was expected.

All I want is to do what’s best for my son. I don’t want to rely on his grandparents to look after him, even part time, as their time with him should be fun and a choice not a necessity and they have their own lives too, but I’d never be able to afford enough childcare to do full time – nor would I want to because honestly I want my son to grow up knowing me not a nursery.

So here I am, torn between wanting what I believe is best for my son, and what I can afford, and needing to do a lot more research before I finally decide what I want to and can do.

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3 Comments

  1. This is a hard decision. In the US, you only get 8 weeks with a csection, or 6 weeks vaginal delivery, paid at 60%. You can have up to 12 weeks unpaid off, and this is just the companies that OPT to pay for it. A vast majority want you back at work within the 3-5 days after delivery and will not pay any income to be off. It sucks having to make these decisions. I had to leave my son at 8 weeks and go back to work. It was so hard, but it had its rewarding moments too, like at the end of a hard day of work, I get to go pick up my son and he yells, “Momma!” across the room. Or when he was too little to talk, you could see his face light up and a smile!

    Whatever you decide will be best. He will love you just as much if you stay home or have to go back to work. He will not lost that bond with you, and it will not scar him. Nothing can take that away from you two. Hoping you can come up with a quick and easy answer. xoxo

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