How do you Celebrate a Life That Never Got to be lived?

It may seem weird to you, heck it would have seemed weird to me before my life took its horrible and unexpected turn, but today, my daughters birthday, nothing seemed more natural than spending it with her, at her grave, eating cake.

I had been thinking about Effy-Maes birthday since Christmas. I chose her present and since then I’ve been waiting until I could take it to her! Her birthday seemed ages away then, but it’s really snuck up on me recently. 

I hadn’t planned anything for her birthday, what can you do really? She’s not here to shower with presents and dress in a party dress. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to mark it though. I’ve talked before about not celebrating her birthday, after all, it’s another year since a terrible experience, instead I chose to celebrate the life I carried for those precious 21 weeks. 

So how do you celebrate a life? To me it seemed obvious it had to be at her grave, and it had to involve cake, it is her birthday after all! And of course, with the most important people in my life, my parents and my son.

So yes, to you, maybe eating cake around a grave seems odd, but how else do you celebrate a life that never got to be lived?

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  • An 'Angel Baby' is a baby lost during pregnancy or early childhood, who sleeps in the clouds instead of our arms.

    A 'Rainbow Baby' is a baby born following the loss of an 'Angel Baby', a beacon of hope after a storm, while not denying the storm happened.

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