Cutting myself off

A few months ago I left a group I was in on Facebook which was support for those who’ve lost babies.
I’m not healed, I still need support, but I couldn’t look and every day see another baby lost.

The one that ended it for me was a baby the same age as my rainbow dying of SIDS. I fear that happening every day and I can’t keep reading about it happening. It made me worry even more and I’m already a nervous ninny, I don’t need to add to it!

At around the same time I stopped reading all the blogs regularly about babyloss. I was making myself feel worse not better. I found that I was wallowing by reading them, it was making me worry about my Rainbow and realising how common baby loss is making me panick about one day giving Jackson a brother or sister. I now look at these on occasion and skip through and pick the posts I feel I can read at the time.

I wish I could still read those things and support the women going through it, I hope I do in a way through my blog, and talking to people on Twitter, but I cannot look through posts and posts of babies lost years before they should be.

I miss my daughter every day, and those groups helped me in the beginning, making me feel not so alone, but now I need to throw myself into parenting my son and missing my daughter in my own way.

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  • An 'Angel Baby' is a baby lost during pregnancy or early childhood, who sleeps in the clouds instead of our arms.

    A 'Rainbow Baby' is a baby born following the loss of an 'Angel Baby', a beacon of hope after a storm, while not denying the storm happened.

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