You watch celebrities going around with their perfect bumps, wearing heels up until their due date, taking amazing selfies, but my experience of pregnancy has been a little different to this!
Now you expect a bit of discomfort, people tell you about that. After all, you are growing a person, there is extra weight, extra mass and your body isn’t used to it, however, it is supposedly designed to cope with it – will someone please tell my body this!
When I last saw my midwife she commented on how I never complain about any of the things that have happened to me this pregnancy, that I take it all in my stride, asking questions about things but just accepting her answer, and my response was that if my little man was alive I had nothing to complain about. I still stand by this, but I thought I’d put together some of the things that have made this pregnancy less than enjoyable. (Maybe it will forewarn someone!)

My pregnancy wasn’t very glamorous from the off with terrible morning sickness which started at 6 weeks and had me throwing up up to 6 times a day. This was very draining and I ended up carrying a bowl round with me like a handbag. I went on medication from 10 weeks but even this didn’t completely stop the sickness. It reduced it dramatically, but eating too much, the wrong food, or too much movement and it didn’t matter what medication I had taken, it was all coming up again. It’s hard to tell exactly when morning sickness faded, I noticed I was feeling better at about 17ish weeks but obviously with some of the symptoms being masked by medication I’m not sure exactly when I felt better and I can’t remember when I finally came off the medication after a few false starts where I felt ok until I tried to stop taking the tablets.
At the same time as my morning sickness, pregnancy caused my over active thyroid to come back, this is apparently relatively common as pregnancy suppresses your antibodies. That led to shaking, overheating and generally feeling unwell. I lost over a stone in weight (great at any other time in life!) but almost as soon as I got on medication for that it was under control. I continued taking medication into the third trimester, and have been warned it will probably return about three months after giving birth. (Great for losing post baby weight, but not so great as it may affect if I can breastfeed)
While I’m talking about things I am medicated for I should probably mention my daily injections. I haven’t mentioned them on my blog recently – they are now just something that I do daily, however, my sides look like I am a pin cushion, or occasionally, when I bruise, like I’m being abused, and sometimes those bruises are serious, big purple blotches, that you would never believe came from one tiny needle (No wearing a bikini when you have a shiner taking over your side!) Now this isn’t something you imagine having to do when you’re pregnant, and in most cases it’s not, but if you do have to do it, be warned that it definitely takes some getting used to and isn’t exactly practical when you have to inject while you are out – a quick trip to the loos and the hope you don’t look like a druggie and get stopped because lo and behold you do, have a needle in your bag!

So now I move on to pregnancy niggles that aren’t quite so specialised to me, and really there is no medication for. Let’s start with the haemeroids! Too much information I know. They aren’t fun and seem to be growing with each trimester! I try to keep a good diet, but nothing seems to help. Since I started taking iron supplements which have messed with my digestive system some what, they have worsened dramatically! I am just hoping they disappear after pregnancy and they aren’t something I am lumbered with forever!
My back also started aching quite early on. To start with it was just when I was on my feet for a long time. Walking round the city became a huge chore, but I quickly recovered after each trip. This has now become a lot more difficult. I waddle, therefore long city trips are out of the question, and my hips get stiff and sore if I sit still for too long. That is nothing compared to being in bed. I sleep on my left side – as recommended, with a pillow between my legs to try and keep my pelvis aligned, rolling to my right side when my left side becomes agony (imagine weak jointed hips all crushing down) but I have never in my life had to deep breathe through rolling over in bed. The pain is unbelievable! Last night my hips made such an almighty crack I could have sworn I had broken my pelvis! When I get out of bed in the morning I have to sit up first to let my hips straighten and settle out and then get up, but even then I waddle like a constipated penguin. I feel really decrepit!
And now I come to the stretchmarks. This is something you are always told about pregnancy, but never realise how they will affect you until you have them! I started moisturise my tummy at about 24 weeks, but I got disillusioned when no stretchmarks appeared and I thought I was safe, so. I only moisturised occasionally. At about 30 weeks I noticed some starting to appear and slapped on the moisturiser every day religiously. Something I am still doing at 37 weeks, however it doesn’t seem to be doing much. My stretchmarks have come and are now covering the entire lower half of my stomach and are creeping up round the sides of my belly button, so in the next 3 weeks who knows how marked I’ll be. I always assumed they were ugly, that’s a given, but that that was it. No. They hurt. They are always dry and slathering them in mosturiser doesn’t really help with the pain, they just soak it straight up. Imagine – They are like fresh scar tissue, really thin skin that has been stretched really tight. Now I know they will fade, and as soon as he is out my tummy skin won’t be so stretched so they won’t hurt so much, but right now, they are just another thing on my list of things that are incredibly un glamourous about pregnancy!

Don’t get me wrong, this blog post isn’t about me complaining, I know full well that my little man will completely be worth EVERYTHING he has put me through and more, but these were things that I, naively probably, didn’t realise would affect me as much as they have. I expected pregnancy to be difficult, yes, but not to the extreme that I have found it to be.

This time I had very few questions for my midwife, it’s funny how some weeks you have loads and some weeks everything seems very under control and you don’t have many, my only question really was whether he had turned round or if he was still back to back.
She started by testing my wee and doing my blood pressure, both were fine, then she got me up on the bed to check my bump. She measured it at 37cm which was only a cm growth from last time – just under two weeks ago, but bump has dropped and it still plots on the top line of my graph so she wasn’t too worried especially as I have a scan booked for Thursday anyway. She then felt around and said that it felt like his back was up one side and no longer round the back which is a much better position! She also felt around his head (pushing it into my bladder!) and told me that it was engaged! Things are moving in the right direction!
I don’t have another appointment with her until 5th August now, but she did say that depending on what they say on Thursday regarding induction I can ring and change that. She mentioned that I could get her to do a membrane sweep if I am going to be induced (but the consultants have to write this in my notes because she can’t do it before 40weeks without permission) which releases hormones and can start labour – this is good in induced labour as your body is forced into labour and isn’t necessarily ready with all the natural hormones.
She laughed about how from the back I still don’t look pregnant, because my entire bump is straight out the front, she also said that my stretchmarks only look bad because they are small and close together meaning the overall look is pink, but that once they fade they’ll be almost unnoticeable, so fingers crossed!

We are now into the last month of this pregnancy, my countdown is no longer in months, but days! (23 days until my due date)

I am now getting excited.
It’s taken a while, and I’m not going to say I’m not still worried – I’m still terrified that something will go wrong at the last minute and snatch this little miracle from me, but touch wood, within 23 days I will get to meet and bring home my healthy little man.
I say I’m excited. I am, when I think about it, when I don’t, I find it very easy to forget I am pregnant at all! I can complain about aches and pains, feeling tired and needing the loo a lot but unless I am actually concentrating I find it very easy to forget why. I suppose this is a side effect of not letting myself believe I was pregnant for so long, that, and the fact that I am still completely disbelieving that there is a baby growing inside me, it’s crazy! I’m pretty sure that that won’t hit home until I deliver him and get to have my first cuddle!
As much as I am trying to mentally prepare myself to bring him home I cannot associate the kicks inside me with an actual breathing, crying baby! The kicks are something that is happening to my body, something weird and alien that I cannot control, but I cannot get my head to link those kicks with an actual baby! Sounds mad I’m sure!

And that brings me on to preparing to bring him home. As you saw a few posts back I have got most things bought ready for him when he comes home, but I have a few bits left, and everything left to sort out, prepare and build! I may HAVE the crib and mattress, but it is still in the box, I may HAVE a lot of clothes ready and waiting, but they are all still in their packets (these are now slowly being worked through). There is a lot of washing to do, of sheets and clothes, but I am getting there. Before my 38 week scan I want to have it ready to bring him home to. Crib built and with sheets and blankets, and his full wardrobe ready to be worn. It is possible that at the 38 week scan they may decide to induce me there and then, so it would be nice to know that if this is the case everything is ready for him at home.

It almost feels like I am planning for someone else’s baby, that it can’t possibly be me this close to getting to meet MY baby, who will rely on me, his MUMMY for the next 18 years. It seems crazy, but at the same time totally right. He is going to be – already is – my whole world, he just needs to come into it now.

The midwife welcomed us into the room and as soon as I saw her I knew it was a familiar face, unfortunately not one I had hoped I’d ever see again (as lovely as she was). I didn’t recognise her immediately as the entire day I met her was a blur but the more she talked the more I recognised that she was the midwife who I went to see when I stopped feeling Effy-Mae moving, and she was the midwife who couldn’t find a heartbeat and who referred me to the hospital for an emergency scan. She was the midwife I saw who started the ball rolling on the worst day of my life.
From the moment this had clicked into place I was only half paying attention, half trying really hard not to remember that day and concentrating on taking in as much information as possible so I could look after Jackson properly.

The midwife started the class by asking what the last class had been about and when we told her about birth and labour she had to put away all the equipment she had prepared for the class – there doesn’t seem to be any communication and she had prepared for the same class again! She then asked if we had seen these, and held up some particularly scary looking items. When we all looked blank she asked if we had been told about assisted deliveries, eg forceps and Caesarian, when we said no, she asked if we would like to be told about them. No one seemed to want to answer so I suggested it would be nice to know a little bit about them, 20minutes later she finished that section!!

She started with the kiwi which is essentially a suction cup that is stuck to the side of babies head and then the doctor pulls when you push and baby slides out easier, she also showed us a different, more basic version of the same thing which basically looked like a rubber plunger! She did tell us that if baby has one of these deliveries it is possible that they will have a slight bump on their head where the suction cup fits, but that this is just a buildup of fluid under the skin outside the skull and doesn’t affect baby’s brain, but could take up to 7 weeks to go. She did say that it is possible to get this even without an assisted delivery from when baby’s head is pushing against the cervix for an extended period of time.
She also told us about forceps. These always look scary to me, and they do need local anaesthetic to be used as obviously large metal things being shoved places they wouldn’t normally be shoved is going to hurt, but she said that they are more used to guide than pull and they allow for a more controlled delivery. They are often used during cesarians to allow for a slower delivery of the head as baby has had no time to prepare unlike in a natural delivery. She also mentioned that they are used in premature deliveries, again to allow for a slow birth as the size of the baby isn’t going to slow down delivery.
From this she moved onto caesarians and asked us how many people we thought there would be in the room. I think she was meaning to prepare us for if it did happen that we wouldn’t be worried with that many people in the room, however it did seem like there would be quite an audience. With one of the ladies in the group having twins she was warned that some of the people would double up, one for each baby!
Mum
Dad
Surgeon
Surgeons assistant
Anaesthetist
Anaesthetists assistant
Nurse
Midwife
Student midwife
Paediatric doctor
– And I’m sure I have forgotten some.
She reassured us that both mum and dad would be behind a screen and unable to see anything happening, but that as long as it was all ok that baby would be placed straight on mums chest for skin to skin like a normal delivery.

From this and with us all feeling notably more nervous about something going wrong, but reassured that we would atleast know what was happening if it did, we moved onto what we had expected to learn about.

I asked her to clarify how long we would stay in hospital. She told us that if we had a general anaesthetic caesarian then we would stay in for about 3 days, however, if it was a nice normal complication free vaginal birth then the minimum stay is 6 hours as this is how old the baby needs to be before some tests are carried out, but she did say not to go home until you feel totally confident in what you are doing, especially with breastfeeding, as it could be a full day before you get your first midwife visit, and this is a long time to struggle with a hungry baby! The tests done at the hospital are a hearing test (however not to panic if they give you a follow up appointment as often babies ears are still full of liquid!) checking the babies hips and heart and that they have 10 fingers and 10 toes and that everything else looks ok. After that at about 10 days the midwife will do a heel prick test to check for cystic fibrosis, an underactive thyroid and other incurable but treatable conditions. She also told us that their day 3 midwife visit should be the lowest weight baby will reach as they have been getting all their food on demand and not having to do anything for it up until that point and now they have to breathe and move and cry and wait and suck for food! They can lose 8-10% of their original body weight through this, but she assured us they would soon put it back on. After this the midwife hands over care to the health visitors who will continue to see you until baby is 5.

From going home she talked about bathing the baby and basically her advice was don’t! (Apart from their hair which will come out gunky and should be washed with a baby shampoo – wrap baby in a towel and tuck them under your arm nice and securely. Babies tend to cry when they’re held if they don’t feel they are being held securely) Babies come out with a protective, moisturising layer on their skin that excessive bathing removes which can lead to it becoming dry. She instead suggested top and tailing – however she told us that we didn’t need to clean their eyes unless they were gunky – how often to we need to clean our eyes? If babies eyes are gunky and remain so after washing then she suggested squirting some breast milk into them (she didn’t explain why, I’m assuming it has some anti bacterial properties or antibodies in?!) She suggested the same if the umbilical cord seemed to be infected. The umbilical cord should fall off in about 7-10 days. She mentioned that maybe their nails would need to be cut and that to do this you could use clippers, scissors or you could bite them yourself. Midwives are apparently not allowed to cut babies nails any more as apparently one nipped a babies finger and the parents kicked up a stink.

She did point out that you would need to wash their bum most nappy changes, and that baby wipes weren’t recommended for newborn skin, that water and cotton wool was preferred. She did however say that if you are out or it is the middle of the night, that the occasional baby wipe is fine, but not recommended for constant use.
She told us about baby poo, which sounds delightful! Apparently the first poo is black/green and like tar, but totally sterile as it has come out of you! It is made from amniotic fluid which is basically baby’s wee (which baby has been drinking and breathing) that has been in the gut and the water has been reabsorbed. However apparently after that, breastfed baby’s poo becomes really liquid and yellowy and comes out quite forcefully, while formula fed babies poo is more solid and ‘putty’ like. This, I have to say seems to be a big plus for formula feeding your baby! (Though I’m sure the benefits of breastfeeding will make themselves apparent later!)

She talked a little bit about breastfeeding and that our bodies are in tune to what baby needs. With it being summer baby will be thirsty and not hungry some of the time, but at these times our bodies should know and produce a more watery breast milk. She also told us that colostrum is the wonder food and that 1ml is all baby need for an hour of sustenance (a teaspoon is 5ml!) baby’s tummy is only the size of a marble when they are first born as they haven’t needed it up until now, so not to worry if it doesn’t seem that they are eating much, their tummy soon grows and by day 3 is the size of a walnut, as for breastfeeding positions, she basically told us to ensure that the baby’s head is in line with its body as this reduces the chance for any latching problems, and to hug the baby as close to your body as possible as this makes baby feel warm and secure.

She told us that winding after feeding it isn’t always necessary, however, if baby needs to be and isn’t winded then it can cause gas and colic, and then you’ll have to deal with an unhappy baby! To wind them just sit them on your lap (obviously supporting their head) and rub their back. If nothing happens then lay them down, lift them up again and try again. However she did say not to pat their back as for obvious reasons babies don’t like this and then they associate this with feeding and it can put them off. However, as she pointed out, formula fed babies are more likely to have issues with wind as they can take in wind from the bottle, whereas unless a breastfed baby has a bad latch on their chances to take in air are minimal as there is no air in the breast.

She also talked about room temperature. Baby is used to 37degrees currently, so being born into about 25degrees is going to be a shock to their bodies. This is why skin to skin is so important, and also why they give them a hat to wear. Baby has never had to regulate its own temperature before so it finds this hard to start with, however it quickly manages to do this itself, therefore after the first day or so baby doesn’t need to wear a hat. Once baby is home the ideal room temperature is 18degrees, however obviously we can’t change what the temperature is, especially having summer babies, so to simply remove clothing. If the temperature is over 30degrees baby is ok to sleep in just a nappy. Over 26ish degrees just a nappy and sleepsuit. Over 24degrees a sheet, nappy and sleepsuit. And after that start adding blankets. The way to check a baby is warm is to put your fingers on its chest to check its not too hot or cold, however, it’s better off slightly cold than warm as a cold baby wakes up and cries, a warm baby is as greater risk of SIDS.

This is about all I can remember from the session. I’m sure she covered more, and I’m sure I will remember it when I come to do it, but right now this is all I can recall.

Obviously I don’t know how much of this is fact, I accept no responsibility for you biting your child’s nails! I am simply regurgitating what I remember from what the midwife told us.

Leading up to my midwife appointment I was hopeful that I would get to see my actual midwife unlike lots of my other appointments where she has been ill or on holiday and I have had to see a different midwife. My midwife seems to understand takes time to listen and make sure that I get things.

Thankfully I did actually get to see my midwife and so I went in ready to ask my long list of questions that had arisen since my scan and first antenatal class.

She started normally, urine test and blood pressure were normal, and his heartrate was a good speed, she did tell me that she felt a lot of limbs at the front when she was feeling his position, I told her that a lot of the movement seemed to be limbs sticking out of my bump. She said that it felt like he was back to back or atleast his spine was further round the back than she would like. She suggested that I spend time on all fours or any position with my bump hanging down to enable gravity to pull him round and adjust his position. She told me that he would be more comfortable with more room to put his legs if he turned round, not to mention make birth easier.

I also asked her about the fact they had picked up on a mature placenta at my last scan. She told me that she read it as the placenta was as mature as the baby, however she also said she could see how it could mean that the placenta was more mature than the baby and therefore not working as effectively as it needed to be. As I am having another scan in two weeks she didn’t seem too concerned as anything concerning would be picked up and mentioned then, she did make a point to make sure I am keeping an extra close eye on movements and letting the midwives know if I notice any change in movement. I assured her I was definitely doing that already!

I had decided I would quite like a water birth, but wasn’t sure how this would be affected by being induced. She reassured me that if I was induced just so I didn’t go overdue that there should be no reason I couldn’t have a water birth, however, if I was induced due to problems with the placenta or anything then baby would need more monitoring and therefore a water birth wouldn’t be possible.

As I have really been struggling with moving around recently I mentioned that when I move or roll over, my hips make a deafening cracking noise. She told me this was just down to the ligaments relaxing, however I shouldn’t aggravate the situation, so if I roll over, roll both legs together not one and then the other as this adds a strain to joints.

Another thing that was concerning me was that I hadn’t heard from my health visitor yet. I had had a phonecall from the health visitor in my parents area where I had only just changed my address from to my new house, but my new house is apparently outside their area, so I was awaiting a call from one from my area. I mentioned this to my midwife and she told me she would chase it up, but not to worry if they didn’t get in contact, they would catch up with me after he is born.

She also mentioned that I have had a lot going on this pregnancy and that she was amazed that I didn’t complain more, that I just take it all in my stride. I replied to this simply that he was alive and I would do anything to keep him that way, that I have nothing to complain about.

I booked in for another appointment in a couple of weeks, we will see what questions are thrown up at my antenatal class tonight.